There is very little job description when it comes to motherhood so one has to look to her past to see how her mother nurtured (or didn't). (My mother was an amazing cook who homeschooled five children single handedly. She took very good care of us. Still does. ) And with a little observation, one can also see how to mother by looking at how other mothers do it.
Somehow by observing and thinking and resolving I cobbled together a job description for motherhood.
Sometimes in the process of marveling and enjoying how another mother would raise her children, I would slip down that very slippery slope of comparing, usually thinking myself worse than others.
I would visit a friend who was extremely health conscious and realize that it wouldn't hurt to go running a bit more, eat a few more apples.
I'd visit a creative friend and gush over her sewing skills, wishing I had all the time in the world to sew.
I have cooking friends, baking friends, teacher friends, fashion friends... and all of them have their own beautiful spin on motherhood, their own flare.
I'm embarrassed to say that it's probably only in the past year that I am able to accept the unique blend of gifts and personality that makes me mother to my children.
I'm creative, which makes my schedule a little more flexible than others. With that creativity comes a difficulty in being organized.
I enjoy having people over to nosh with me and my family. This means my kitchen struggles to be clean but it isn't a "show" kitchen, either.
I like good food and sincere friends.
I have a yo-yo relationship with my treadmill.
I eat somewhat healthy until it's time for a treat and then I go for the gusto.
I don't buy clothes for myself very often. When I do I buy for, like, two weeks straight and then I'm mostly done for the year.
I see design in everything. Everything. I'm allergic to ugly things.
I'm a technophobe; I don't like change. I feel bad for inanimate objects when I need to replace them.
Until I was able to embrace these idiosyncrasies about myself, I judged myself constantly. I'm learning to have grace on myself. I'm learning to have grace on others who don't like how I live or, worse yet, don't like how they live.
And with that realization, I'm able to help my daughters when they tell me, "I'm sad you got rid of the old washing machine. I don't like new things."
God, give me the "grace" to accept things I cannot change,
give me the "courage" to change the things I can change,
and the "wisdom" to know the difference.
