Yes to the first boyfriend, the narcissistic one, who taught me that I need to stand on my own two feet.
Yes to the big family I grew up in. The loud one. You taught me to love deeply and speak quickly before I was interrupted. You taught me to share.
Yes to the healing that came after my parents' divorce.
No to divorce.
Yes to moving on.
Yes to eighth grade, to too much makeup, to Bon Jovi singing "Livin' on a Prayer." Sorry to my parents for the eye rolling. No to the bullies.
Yes to traveling to Russia and Jamaica and Italy.
Yes to learning how to budget.
Yes to being frugal. No to being cheap.
No to saying, "We can't do that because it has never been done that way."
Yes to embracing your age and wearing it well.
No to only talking about one's self and never asking others about their life.
Yes to older people who are inspiring and haven't checked out of life.
Yes to people who are inclusive.
No to people who are only inclusive because they want to change you into versions of themselves.
Yes to Dan when he asked me out for pizza in college. Sorry I said no the first time. I was scared.
Yes to reading tremendous authors in art and thought and literature. Yes to Elizabeth Gilbert and Anne Morrow Lindbergh and Dallas Willard. Yes to Calvin & Hobbes and Bloom County. More yeses.
Yes to accepting one's self. The mind, the body, the emotions.
Yes to trying new things. Always try new things.
No to telling one's self that you can't do something because of age.
No to telling one's self that you're not... artistic, athletic, intelligent.
Yes to trying.
Yes to deciding who gets a voice in your life.
Yes to friends of all ages and walks of life.
Yes to true grace, the only source of which is God.
No to people pleasing. A thousand nos.
Yes to forgiveness. True forgiveness. It ushers in new respect for self and others.
Yes to learning new words and cultures and people and phrases and foods.
Yes to parties.
No to waiting to have parties until your house is perfect. Or your body. Or your bank account.
No to victim talk. But yes to grieving and wrestling through and receiving healing.
Yes to accepting the gray in life. Compromise is necessary in all relationships.
Yes to boundaries, but only ones done in grace.
No to raw pride. It has no room for others.
Yes to cake made with 2 sticks of butter.
Yes to arugula salad.
No to gossip. It destroys one's trust and reputation.
Yes to speaking the truth in love, even when it hurts.
No to not speaking up. No to ignoring someone in hospice because you are afraid of death. No to "waiting for the funeral" to say something nice.
Yes to speaking life.
Yes to listening to your emotions.
No to letting your emotions go unbridled.
Yes to big picture thinking. No to slapping on blinders.
Yes to planting trees.
Yes to spending money on vacations.
No to "not mentioning" lost pregnancies.
Yes to purging things out of your home which you don't need.
Yes to marriage. Yes to speaking kindness to the ones under your own roof.
Yes to admitting when you're wrong. Yes to having grace on yourself when you feel awful.
Yes to traditions. No to rigid ones which don't let others have any voice.
No to constant negativity. Yes to using disgust to springboard you into redemptive action.
No to blaming management all the time. Yes to rolling up your sleeves and asking how you can help.
Yes to servant leadership.
