Monday, November 5, 2012

Ode to Age



Somewhere in life... probably when I turned 35, I decided that I didn't need to fight for significance anymore.

I didn't need to fight to be prettiest. Or smartest. Or most funny. Or most talented designer. Or most domestic.

I just said, "Enough."

I took an inventory of what was important to me, of what made my colors sing strongest.

I embraced my strengths and weaknesses.
I laid down my weapons of anger and said, "Well, others may choose that path, but not me." I took hate's energy and started sewing aprons and potholders. Hate became joy. And color.

I acknowledged my losses, my unknown babies, and I fought for joy in their name. There's no better way to honor the life of a loved one than to live as brilliantly as possible.

I stopped thinking "What will people think" and I just said, "I want to do this, to put this color here, to make this shape, to say this word. I want to be this person."

The path has been kind of winding... I thought I wanted to sew but then I realized that what I really enjoyed was being around beautiful fabric designs and beautiful people. Bold designs. Pure designs. Kind people. True people.

I don't want to be the person who puts down other designers. I want to be encouraging and real. Truthful and celebratory. God knows how thirsty this world is for truth and kindness and life-giving colors.

So I do it. I delight. And I'm thankful for my fellow journey takers.