Discipline

Queen Anne's Lace

Hello, Abandoned Blog-

I have missed you, but I haven't. I have decided that I want my time to matter. Sometimes blogging matters; lately something else has.

I have learned a great deal about myself lately.

I started working out... I've been a bit more regimented than I usually am. This involves getting up earlier than my family and picking up cold metal objects and having some man on a DVD convincing me that this discipline will result in something wonderful. It has resulted is something wonderful, but not what I expected.

It has resulted in discipline.

I didn't know I could like discipline. The artsy, right side of my brain tells me to shun all things rigid. But I find an odd freedom in being disciplined.

It has splashed over into other areas of my life. I reserve a portion of the afternoon for a hobby of mine which I hope will turn into a business one day. I quietly work on my hobby with no one prodding me on. It's all because of working out, really. When you're disciplined in one area of life, it feels amazing to be disciplined in other areas.

The bad side to discipline is when it turns to rigidity, when it pushes away the people or ideologies that matter more. Discipline and flexibility need to work together for beautiful balance.

This morning my flexibility is being tested. My sweet husband struggles with epilepsy and it has reared its ugly head once more. On "seizure day", everything stops. Schedules are tabled. Doctor is called. Sometimes a hospital is in order.

I'm not sure what is most evil about epilepsy... the way it disrupts or the way it corrupts the image of Dan. It reduces the beauty in our life and we must fight to not let it become us.

This morning I have a yearning to sleep and to design and to sleep again. I want rest to restore my mind and design to recreate that which was lost.

Discipline and flexibility. May the dance be perfected.