Single Me:
Dear Married Me, I'm really lonely. I'm tired of meeting weird guys and fragments of friends. I want to belong. To a career. To a person. Does it get better in the future?
Married Me:
Dear Single Me, Yes it does. Your wedding will be magical. Your honeymoon will be unforgettable. And the man you marry will remind you that you're glad you waited. You will have a constant friend. And then, amazingly, you will give birth to people who will also become your friends.
You will be so filled with people that quite the opposite will happen. You'll wish you had a little more breathing room. More time to think. And pray. And do. Remind me: What is it like to do that?
Single Me:
Prayer times are really special. They're not scheduled. They're very organic and natural, like grabbing coffee with a friend. I read a lot of head-y art books. Go to museums and such.
I'm really frustrated artistically. My employment choices leave a lot to be desired. I'm really confused about who I am. Do I ever find relief from this mediocrity?
Married Me:
Your statement about being "unscheduled" left me daydreaming. :)
Okay, since you want to know: Your career starts off really bumpy. You learn what you want to do by doing things that you don't want to do. Don't be discouraged. That lesson acts as a springboard to help drive you to be more determined. You eventually work for some really swanky companies. You learn that "playing well with others" is just as important as artistic talent in your field. Prima donnas aren't appreciated. All these lessons are important.
Single Me:
What about art? Do I keep it up?
Married Me:
Yes. It takes a while, but by blending your branding experience with art, you'll find your way. You stop thinking and you just do. You trust your instincts. You play. You learn. It's great. The only problem is that you don't have much time for it, so you feel stifled and somewhat tired a lot.
Remind me what it's like to go to the beach, fall asleep in the sand and wake up tan.
Single Me:
Laughing... So you miss the beach, huh? The beach is amazing. I can have a huge day of work and then go the beach for 2 hours and totally rejuvenate. Love it.
Married Me:
Rejuvenate, huh? You stink.
Single Me:
Yep. :) And then I have time to serve others in the way I want. Babysit. Stuff like that.
And I love to go running. I can't quite lose these last few pounds, but I guess I'll just have to accept it.
Married Me:
You'll be doing a LOT of serving in the future. Raising a family is a full time job of service. It's very rewarding in a tiring sort of way. :)
Look: About the weight: Just be grateful for the life God gave you. Don't obsess over weight. No woman is ever happy about her weight unless she is obsessing about it night and day and working out 24/7. So unless you want to spend every waking minute making yourself perfect, just relax.
You'll discover that there are other things in life that make you more glad than trying to live up to some ridiculous Photoshopped image in Redbook.
What's more: You are going to give birth to TWO daughters and you want them to have a healthy image of themselves. They're beautiful, by the way. They're totally opposite-- they're feminine in two different ways. The way you think about the world will change 100% as a result of them.
Single Me:
I'm not sure I want children. I mean... Do you have to cash in your brain to be a parent? Is life a lot more mediocre and "Lands End"?
Married Me:
Hey, don't bust on Lands End... they have very warm clothing. :)
Yeah, I know about your reservations. I know you're afraid of having children. And I know you hate mediocrity.
You will have to simplify your life in a lot of ways. At first it will feel awful, like you're giving up huge chunks of happiness. But then, when you settle into a more focused lifestyle, you'll realize that you're more in tune with your instinct and your art and your choices to love God and your family than ever before.
Losing self gains self, somehow.
Single Me:
Weird.
Married Me:
Yeah, I know.
Single Me:
Okay, well thanks for the info. I'll see you in a few years.
Married Me:
Keep your head about you, girl. :)
