Those stories have never made me feel gratitude or lead me to happiness. And it makes me feel badly for the person who is the subject of the story... as if their life is not able to be touched by beauty and redemption, as if they are not allowed to see beauty because circumstances have dictated it.
"Sorry, someone told a sad story about you and now you will always be defined by that story. No joy for you."
Sorry, you have a disease. Now that disease is on your business card, passed around for all to see.
Sorry, you can't have babies. Everything in your life will be barren now.
Sorry, you have been abandoned. Tattoo "lonely" on your forehead.
Hogwash.
Rubbish.
Untruth.
For years, I had long accepted the titles of
"Emily whose parents are divorced" and
"Emily whose womb is uncooperative"...
but I never found those titles to stick to me because God has a redemptive plan in my life.
Recently I have been quite sick, have relinquished control of my daughter's learning disability and am trying to emotionally support a husband who went to work happily 3 weeks ago and came home unemployed due to a massive reduction in force at his office.
My old ways want to say, "C'mon. Be a victim. Wear the suffering."
But God says something different. He says he wants to lavish gifts on me even more than my earthly parents. He says that he can turn ashes into beauty.
What does this redemption look like? For me, I like to design.
I'm working on 12 designs to be a calendar for my fledgling company, Sweet Mercy Design. I had hoped to have been working on these designs for 8 months. But life became more complicated than expected. I have 6 weeks to complete this work.
My spare time is little and yet God's Spirit is stirring the waters of creativity in me such that I can hardly drive or run or speak or cook without seeing designs everywhere around me, spilling into my dreams and rendering me almost intoxicated on beauty.
When I stop to measure the responsibilities around me I hear God's voice say, "When has worry ever improved you?" and I say, "Never, not ever" and He says, "Design, child! Design!" and so I do.
He pulls me up again and again by His Spirit and says, "Emily, there is beauty still. Do not be defined by these ugly things. My fingerprint is everywhere. Find beauty there."
I shun the ugly. I pursue the beautiful. And I lean on the truth.
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Matthew 7:11 " If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
Isaiah 61:1-3 "The Spirit of the Lord is on me... to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.